-e™

pinene:

rthko:

When Kurt Vonnegut’s Tralfamadorians said they could identify seven sexes in humans based on differences only discernable in the fourth dimension and that homosexuals are involved in the reproduction process in ways earthlings don’t understand… Let them cook

This is literally true

(via froody)

marypsue:

marypsue:

One of the worst feelings in the world: when you are just desperate, like claw-your-own-skin-off desperate, to create, but the only thing that even vaguely appeals to you to work on is a nebulous half-feeling that might be dreamily related to some half-formed notion of a concept. I must! Make! No thing! Only make!

Everything is boring. All activity is meaningless. I understand why Sherlock Holmes did cocaine.

(via wizardlizardinhislair)

apricops:

mayleavestars:

u know someone’s about to get dragged through the mud when an academic uses the phrase ‘it’s tempting to assume’

“it’s tempting to assume” is academic speaking for “you might think, if you’re a fucking idiot,”

(via smallnico)

beemovieerotica:

bogleech:

straightboyfriend:

This is a the funniest fucking post I have seen in a year because first the spelling and backstory makes you think he got a role as one of the beatles, and then after the preposterous reveal she says that isnt actually a problem, and I don’t think anything more could be funnier than the actual post cutting it off as she makes it all about the couch. Comedy writers please study this.

ok but how could they cut off the rest of it

(via haberdashing)

owlpellet:

owlpellet:

people make fun of that “how do we find the gamers at this party” comic with the cake but you can do the same thing with online millennials by shouting “fire ze missiles”

(via hatingongodot)

sourcreammachine:

oh shit - i was time travelling and accidentally killed an ancient italian. doesn’t matter tho everyone was killing each other, when in Reme do as the Remans

(via andthentheywilleatthestars)

odvunir:

(via andthentheywilleatthestars)

angrywall:

(via andthentheywilleatthestars)

lavarend:

nando161mando:

I thought the oar was his thumb, and thought he was just turned around like “ get a load of this guy?”

(via alexisjohnson824)

nudityandnerdery:

vaspider:

mitchipedia:

You know what, though? This is actually not bad advice, as silly as the typo on the sign is.

If you drive in the snow as if you have an unsecured giant sheet cake on the back seat because you’re on the way to the birthday party of your favorite friend, you’ll actually probably do okay! Be cautious, keep a steady speed, leave lots of space around your car. Don’t speed up too quickly or brake too sharply. Take turns at a steady, smooth speed. Keep your hands on the wheel and your eyes on the road.

Genuinely, this is similar to how I taught friends from places where it doesn’t snow how to act in a car when it’s icy or snowing, so let’s go with it:

Drive with cake.

It’s like the classic advice says:

(via elodieunderglass)

lastoneout:

broken-horn-of-equius:

thetursithan:

It actually needed cleaning…

Some months prior:

wdym the Netherlands is famous for their super mega extra safe bikes and bike roads that no one has ever injured themselves or died while using

(via snailygoon)

legend-tripper:

teathattast:

(via kaijuno)

orcboxer:

fiddlepickdouglas:

Why don’t they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

fascinated by the implication that it’s the stained glass that gives catholics the guilt

(via joshpeck)

taxchurchesfundnasa:

40ouncesandamule:

memewhore:

Texas gave up that land so they could keep slavery:

“When Texas sought to enter the Union in 1845 as a slave state, federal law in the United States, based on the Missouri Compromise, prohibited slavery north of 36°30’ parallel north. Under the Compromise of 1850, Texas surrendered its lands north of 36°30’ latitude.”

Tell me more about how critical race theory shouldn’t be taught in school.

I am a grown ass man and I just learned about this 5 minutes ago.  Fuck everything about trying to hide the sins of our past.

(via neil-gaiman)